how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
