The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
