omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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