I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
