So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
