you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
