Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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