we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My vagina just clenched in fear
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