Porn is love you can see.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize