Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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