he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
