i was born a porn star she said
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
