I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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