when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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