Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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