Don't you send me to vm
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
