By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
