now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
