Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
