Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
