He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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