"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
pray to the hookup gods
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize