I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
