We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
