Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
you made out with another girl for some wings
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
