You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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