I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize