Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
As shirtless as possible
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
