i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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