is your mom at the bar?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
