so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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