happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There's always time for handjobs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
