is your mom at the bar?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
