my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize