i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
