Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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