I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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