She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
