do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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