Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
