Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
should my penis look like a turkey
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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