It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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