My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
