Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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