I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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