I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
