he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
