first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
