You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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