if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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