Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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