I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
