Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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